All you young people out there thinkin’ “I’m ready to have a baby!” Stop and ask yourself: “am I ready for my child to hand me their poop?” Because it’s gonna happen.
One day you’ll both be minding your own business doing your thing, and the kid is gonna straight face hand you a thing. You’ll think, where’d you get that? Is it chocolate cake? ITS NOT GONNA BE CHOCOLATE CAKE.
And you CANNOT SCREAM. You will scare the child. That will make it worse.
AND YOU WON’T EVEN KNOW THEY POOPED ‘TIL YOU ARE HANDED THE POOP.
CHOCOLATE CAKE DOESN’T SMELL LIKE THAT. SHE HAD A CHOCOLATE CAKE EARLIER AND THIS WAS NOT IT.
To be honest, It probably used to be chocolate cake.
After not having pooped for several hours (after a 48 hour stomach bug this is good), my Sunshine was sitting in my lap, wearing t-shirt and diaper and I smelled poop. I told her, “ew momma’s gonna have to change your booty!” (Hearing her say “change your boo-tee is too cute).
This prompts her to slide down my leg and run over to her favorite spot in front of the tv. I thought “wow it’s so strong I can still smell it over here!” And then I put my hand on my leg. I could still smell it because, since her butt cheek seems to always be hanging out her diaper (she wallers a lot lol), when she’d slid down my leg she’d left a skid mark.
Needless to say we both needed baths anyway.
My 21 month old is hopelessly addicted to her bottle. She’s only allowed one for naps and bedtime. Her face and actions are hilarious and adorable when you bring the bottle ’round! She’s always thrilled to see it.
The doctor said to break her! She said its bad for her teeth but her real reason was because my monkey had gained some extra weight! Her daddy and I are both overweight and I’m paranoid that she thinks we don’t care enough about our girl to watch her weight gain. Miss S (my daughter) was slightly underweight for several months of her infancy. I think she’s caught up.
The doc said to just take it from her. I’m not willing to go cold turkey, and I’m sure Doc McJudgey couldn’t handle my milk-a-holic herself! I want my monkey healthy and to have good teeth, but we have a hard enough time getting her to sleep with a bottle, I’m not ready to try it without. Yet.
Have any tips on the Battle of the Bottle? Any interesting stories to share?
I once picked up my then very tiny human and thought her sleeper looked bulky. Well, I unsnapped her sleeper and in my attempt to change her diaper without her peeing all over the both of us, I’d managed to slide the clean one over top of the old one.
And forgot to move the old one before putting the sleeper back on.
Luckily only hubby was there to witness!